Last night I was watching a bunch of high school kids sing on the stage of The Lion King on Broadway, as part of the Jimmy Awards. Basically it's the Tony's for teens. One of the three boys was an Orlando local. I jokingly said they should just hand all of these kids Equity cards on the way out of the building, because they were all so talented. But what was so excellent about it all was the joy, the shared sense of love and purpose. That's a cruel business to be in, but for those that make it, eight times a week, they offer a cathartic experience that's unlike anything else we experience as humans. Most importantly, they are giving something to others.
I suppose that most well-adjusted adults do this. Giving, helping and boosting others brings most people joy, a sense of purpose, contentedness. If I'm taking inventory, it's certainly the thing that I've felt best about. Coaching remains one of my most satisfying endeavors, and I can promise that's way more giving than taking. Volunteering in ways that leverage my skills is always awesome. And certainly, writing a check to support things that you believe in offers little in the way of dopamine hits, but it can be really impactful.
Being a caring and empathetic person seems basic to human nature. So much of art is rooted in those qualities. I can't think of anything that I do for myself that feels as good as doing stuff for others. I mean, even holding a door for someone feels good. But there is a line where that gets harder. It is very hard to be caring and empathetic toward people who are selfish, cruel and apathetic toward others, especially those that are different from them. This is why I always flag suggestions of moral equivalence. If there are "sides," and one aligns with the selfish and cruel, that isn't the same as the people who are caring and empathetic. Sure, there is nuance in political policy, but there is no nuance to hate.
So what is it about the selfish and narcissistic folks? They seem to be having an outsized effect on our society right now. They co-opted the term "woke" to mean something bad, when I've always understood it to mean having awareness and empathy of others' circumstances. In other words, caring for others.
I'm not going to armchair psychoanalyze narcissists, but as best I can tell, they are miserable people. I conclude this because it's behavior that is the opposite of giving. And if giving makes people happy, being selfish and cruel to others can only make you miserable. As an empathetic person, I should feel bad for them, but how do you feel bad for people who are selfish and cruel?
I'm not sure if people with advantages are obligated to be givers, but I am totally certain that they would be less miserable if they looked outward and helped others.
No comments yet.