Listening this evening to INXS's Live Baby Live live album. It has a song in the middle that was not live, called "Shining Star." This song brought back a flood of memories to my freshman year of college. I kinda wish my classmates could read this.
My freshman year at Ashland University was interesting for a lot of negative reasons, but it was also a classic coming of age story. High school was fucking terrible, but here I was getting a fresh start. I wasn't new to TV production, because I had been working with my local city's cable TV department for two years. Sure, it was just city council meetings and public affairs stuff, but I was not a stranger to 3/4" U-matic tape. (Ugh, yeah, that was the pro thing at the time, unless you had Betamax in the field.)
I quickly made friends with a senior named Teri, who had been doing a show on the college station called Video Marquee for a few years. She didn't have time, and wanted to pass it on. Freshmen didn't typically take on shows as a director/producer, but I didn't know any better, or know any rules (#ASD). I told Teri, yes, I'd love to do it. It was a movie review show about home video releases. And they had a relationship with a local video store that offered the movies for free, provided we mentioned them.
The show had a set and everything, and it was straight forward enough to make. My first need was a couple of reviewers. I put out the call, but no majors answered it, other than one, my friend Pam. She was a transfer in, two years ahead of me, and I knew her because we did the late afternoon radio news show together. I eventually paired her with an R/TV minor, and we did the show. It was a lively, interesting combination, because Pam was a strong, beautiful woman who took no shit, and the dude, his name was Toby, was an arrogant pretty-boy freshman. They say that conflict makes for good television, and I think this is what we had.
The next year, I brought in a friend who was a non-major. I met Kam the year before when she toured campus as a high school senior, and we became friends after that. This led to more changes, and eventually, I fired Toby and brought someone else for a few final shows. I don't remember who.
Meanwhile, in my first year, I also started a completely new show that showed music videos. I can't remember the title, but this was a town that, for alleged moral reasons, didn't have MTV on their cable system. I was chummy with the theater professor, through my stage craft classes, so he gave me free reign to borrow a cyclorama and lights, which could be plugged into the TV studio grid. I hung the thing in an abstract way, put some colored lights on it, and we made the show. I cast my roommate as the host, because he was into alt-rock. This pissed off a lot of majors, for some reason. It's not that I didn't audition them, it's that they were inauthentic. I just wanted to make the best show. And yes, this is where the INXS video for "Shining Star" comes in.
This is an early example of me not understanding, or even seeing, the politics of a situation. College was easier than high school, but not without its blind spots. I pissed off a lot of upperclassmen just by doing what seemed like the right things to make good shows. But I have to point out that not everyone was like this. There were several people, including Teri and a number of other folks, who were advocates and cheering me on, helping in whatever way they could. It was a net-positive experience. If I could point at any negatives, it was that certain faculty were total dicks and not supportive. (Sidebar: This led to a lot of letters to department chairs and such, which may have unintentionally led to people being dismissed or reassigned. It wasn't my intent, but as a friend that eventually landed there as faculty told me, the changes were for the better of the program.)
Why am I writing about this? It reminds me of a time where I had impact, and could prove myself, despite friction and opposition. My people skills were certainly lacking then, but it was my first experience navigating human conflict in a signifiant way. In the long run, did it matter? My senior year, I checked out almost entirely. I still did a college radio shift, but every weekend I did "real" shifts at a commercial station. I did little TV at all. When I look back, the faculty could have embraced me, but they looked at me as a threat because I advocated for student involvement first. The faculty saw themselves as "station managers" instead of instructors, and I wasn't cool with that. It's not that I really knew what I was doing, but if I sucked at any of it, I wanted to try and fail, and have mentors correct me. I didn't have that opportunity until I started working at that commercial radio station. That's a failing of my education.
But if only I understood my own challenges at the time. ASD and ADHD require a different approach to learning, and that wasn't a thing then. Fortunately, I did learn from it all, but not without a lot of angst, disappointment and challenges.
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