It's an interesting time for people in middle age, and to an extent, Millennials getting closer to that time. A lot of us have gone through the gauntlet of an autism diagnosis, often motivated by seeing our children navigate one. I got mine about five years ago, and I kind of knew. Watching my kid grow up was like seeing a movie that I was in. For me, along with an ADHD diagnosis, it gave me permission to look at my entire life with fresh eyes, and give myself a little grace for things I once saw as personality flaws.
I was between jobs at the time, but I wondered if I should bring it up in organically in interviews, or if I should tell my new employer. It's a somewhat personal and private thing, and it brings up a ton of legal issues. But three months after that diagnosis, I told my new boss. I explained to him that, as best I could tell, I sometimes have blind spots, and don't always read a room correctly. It's even harder working remotely. My motivation to ask questions isn't to challenge authority necessarily, but because curiosity makes me want more context.
Years later, I asked him if he treated me differently, and he said, "Not really, I was just looking for reasons to put up guardrails, but you didn't need them." That tracked for me, and what it really bought me was the freedom to have great discussions about my leadership. It also confirmed what I had understood about management for a long time... the job is enablement and outcomes, not telling people what to do.
Is this the right thing for you? It depends a lot on experience, I think. I try to look at autism as an explanation for certain aspects of my personality, not an excuse. This may annoy some folks in advocacy circles, because they focus on how many of us need to work harder to conform to certain expectations ("masking," as it's often described), and should get a pass for that. I get that, but neurotypical folks are also emotional humans that are not exactly naturals at social contracts. My opinion is that being wired differently isn't hard because of the wiring, it's hard because it's misunderstood. To me, that's all the more reason to talk about it.
But those of us who are "late bloomers" also have the benefit of years, maybe decades, of experience building coping skills to account for things that are harder. What a strange thing that it's a huge benefit now, but the lack of understanding was suboptimal growing up. What I see now with my son is that accommodation is vastly favored over accountability, and I don't think that's serving him in the long run. There's no incentive to learn about how your differences affect you and others, negatively or positively.
Whether or not you choose to reveal your diagnosis is up to you, but I think you need a deep understanding about it first. There are so many issues of identity, self-care, relationships that go along with it. What you shouldn't do is declare, "Look at me, I have this thing, now accommodate me!" As a spectrum disorder (and I sure hate the "disorder" part, something I hope the next DSM fixes), as we know, some people need support to live, some are billionaire tycoons, and there's a lot of room in between. Knowing where you are, and being able to articulate that, helps folks "get" you.
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